when the last step of a school assignment is to have fun
*Jesus does the cup song at the Last Supper* You’re going to miss me when I’m gone.
I stared at this for 30 seconds worried that I would be struck down if I laughed
*Drinks vodka* *gags* “Ugh I hate vodka” *Drinks vodka*
the only domestic instinct my parents have managed to pass on to me is the tendency to hoard multiple plastic bags in another plastic bag despite the fact that I will probably never need this many plastic bags in my adult life
"How are your grades?"
"What are you majoring in?"
"Have you got a girlfriend?"
"What do you want to do when you graduate?"
friend: i’m getting mcdonalds you want anything?
me: i don’t have money
friend: it’s all good, i’ll pay